Kick Out Your Adult Children...Your Wallet Will Thank You

         
           As a bankruptcy attorney in the Indianapolis/Carmel area of Indiana, I meet with lots of people who are having financial problems.  In my initial consultation with these people at Halcomb Singler, LLP, I go over their income, expenses, debts and assets.  As a part of this, I ask them to tell me how much they are paying for living expenses such as mortgage payment, car payment, cell phone payment, etc.  Over the past few years I have noticed a trend that is causing financial difficulty.  Adult children are staying in the household longer and longer....and the parents are paying for the adult children.

              More and more I am hearing stories about adult children living with their parents at ages 23, 25, and even up to 30.  On top of the fact that virtually all of the kiddos are living rent-free, they are also sapping off of mom and dad for expenses such as food, car insurance, cell phone payments, clothing and whatever else mom and dad will offer.  Many people I meet with are also putting their personal finances at risk to co-sign for student loans or car loans.  Many of these adult children don't have jobs and really do not contribute in any way to the household.  In my opinion, this is a big problem.

             Yes.  I am aware that the job market for 20-somethings is not the best at the moment.  However, I don't think that parents who allow their children to live long-term in their homes are doing themselves or their adult children any favors.  First of all, parents have paid for their adult children for at least 18 years.  They typically have put themselves last financially for this amount of time and have gone without themselves rather than allowing their children to go without.  And the bottom line is that with the current economy most parents need their income for their own expenses and retirement without the added impact of paying for an adult child.  In addition, the adult children are not gaining any positive character traits while sitting on the couch at home eating the food mommy and daddy bought.  Isn't it better for that adult child to "have some skin in the game" by paying something to live in the house?

              Now, I am also not an advocate of such tough love that you are throwing your adult child out on the street without any notice.  It seems to me that a timeline is in order.  For example, perhaps you agree that for the first 4 months your child lives with you that they do not have to pay for any rent or food.  For the record I am never an advocate of paying for you child's cell phone, car, car insurance or gas.  These things should be paid for by the child to promote responsibility.  After the initial period of 4 months collect rent in the amount of $300.00 per month.  After another 4 months make the adult child responsible for $500.00 per month plus a pro-rata share of the utilities.  I would think that after living at home for a year on these reduced expenses that any adult child should be able to get their finances together in order to put a deposit down on an apartment.  Make one year the cut-off.  The adult child must be out of the house within one year.  No exceptions.  Make sure you are up front with the adult child and let him or her know your timeline from the beginning.  The timeline can vary based on what your situation, but it seems to me that there must be a timeline.

             Parents need to remember that they are not going to be around forever.  The job of parents is to raise their children to be productive and self-sufficient members of society.  How is that happening if 27 year-old Junior is staying up until 3 am playing video games and sleeping until noon?  How is that happening if Junior did get a job that pay $8.00 per hour and works 25 hours a week and is content to live at home?  Lets teach adult children that it is more than ok to work hard.  Lets teach them that if they are making $8.00 per hour that they might need 2 or 3 jobs until they can find a higher paying job.  Lets teach them that they have to earn what they have and build character and future leaders in the process.  And finally, lets not either bankrupt mom and dad or put them in a position where they have to rely on Junior in the future because supporting Junior in his adulthood prevented them from saving enough for retirement.

             Lets stop making excuses for the shortcomings of our adult children and help them succeed.  Does anyone have a success story of how they got their adult child out of the house and on a path to financial freedom?  I'd love to hear it.  Please post it in the comments section.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Halcomb Singler, LLP, is a debt relief agency.  It helps people file for bankruptcy under the bankruptcy code.  No attorney-client relationship with the firm of Halcomb Singler, LLP, is created through this blog. Also, please note that Erika Singler is an attorney licensed in Indiana and does not seek to practice law in any jurisdiction in which they are not properly authorized to do so.  The information contained in this blog is general in nature and should not be relied upon for the circumstances of any individual(s) or businesses.